


Lust and Longing

by trancer



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:38:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trancer/pseuds/trancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4587834">"Bullets and Bucket Lists"</a>. It's still the apocalypse, the dead are still rising, but a Bail Bonds Person and a waitress finally take the time to do the one thing they haven't since before or after the world ended - talk to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lust and Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the crappy French. I used Google translator. I'm sorry or (as freetranslation tells me) _Je suis désolé_!

**BEFORE**

"Here ya go, honey," the waitress leaned over Emma's shoulder, displaying a large amount of cleavage as she set down the plate. "One stack of blueberry pancakes, extra blueberries. And one hot cocoa made just the way you like it, with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top."

"Thanks," Emma smiled off the waitress's wink, reaching for her cocoa in an effort to not stare at the woman's retreating ass.

"Seriously, Swan." His name was Chunk. Because that's what he looked like, like someone had walked up to a mountain and carved out a chunk. He lifted his half-gallon stein of beer, peering at Emma over the edge. "Thought you didn't like to dance."

"I don't."

"Then why you playin'?" Her real name was Alicia but everyone called her Pitbull, because once she got her teeth into something, she never let go.

Emma lifted her head from her pancakes. "What are you two talking about?"

Chunk set down his beer, placed his hamhock-sized forearms on the table. "You and that waitress."

Two tables away and Emma couldn't help but make a passing glance. "What about her?"

"Seriously, Swan?" Pitbull chuckled, shaking her head. "That poor girl's been sending you signals so strong, aliens on other planets are reading them."

Emma sucked the air between her teeth. "She's just being nice."

"Emma," Chunk lifted an eyebrow. "She never puts her tits on _my_ shoulder."

Pitbull added, "And she's never winked let alone smiled at me like she smiles at you."

"C'mon guys.." Emma's voice trailed off, as her brows lifted and she let her eyes linger. It'd been 'one of those days'. Where all Emma wanted to do was relax and unwind. Funny how ‘relaxing and unwinding’ turned into going to the diner on the corner with the cute waitress. Admittedly, it'd been awhile, not since hooking up with the Detective from Boston PD and making out in the back of a vice van. Not that Emma's dating life had been any better. Emma didn't do relationships. But, if she were the type for self-introspection, she'd know she was starting to feel lonely. The other part of the whole ‘being alone’ equation.

"For fuck's sake, Swan," Pitbull's voice cut through Emma's thoughts. "If you don't ask her out, swear to Christ, I will."

"Seriously?" Emma rolled her eyes. The waitress was nice, sweet actually, and okay kinda hot. But, Emma's life was a mess. Emma was a mess. It seemed unfair to drag a nice, sweet and kinda hot waitress into Emma's world. So, Emma made another passing glance across the diner, to see long legs in very tight and short shorts, bending over a table. And Emma swallowed hard because, well, it had been awhile. With a swallow of resolve, Emma placed her hands palm flat on the table, turning her gaze back to Chunk and Pitbull. "If I ask her out, will you two get off my back?"

Pitbull turned her head to Chunk. "It is a nice back."

"I do love getting off," Chunk added.

"Fuck you both," Emma growled, sliding out of the booth and rising to her feet. She looked around, exhaling a hard sigh. It figured the moment she gathered her courage, the waitress would be gone.

Following her instincts, Emma made her way to the corridor leading to the bathrooms. Restrooms to the left, storage room to the right and Emma turned. He was tall, with short wavy brown hair, a trimmed beard. One hand was cupped against the waitress's cheek, the other wrapped around her waist. As he leaned down, and she leaned up, their lips meeting in the middle.

Emma stared for a second. A second was all she needed before she was turning, walking back into the diner.

"Sorry guys, gotta go." She tossed a twenty on the table then made a beeline towards the door.

Two weeks later, it would be Emma's 28th birthday. When a boy would show up at her front door and announce he was her son.

**

**AFTER**

"Hey, Ruby?" Emma stood at the window, handgun hanging slack at her side as she blankly stared outside. "What happened to that guy?"

Ruby lifted her head up from the ancient copy of People magazine spread on lap. "Uh, could you be a little more specific?"

They'd limped their way up most of '95. Seven miles from the Canadian border, Emma's bug finally up and died. Neither woman having the skill needed to fix it. They were holed up in a mechanic's garage for the night. Emma taking first watch as Ruby sat on the couch in the office searching for something to ease the boredom before she finally couraged herself to sleep.

Emma shrugged, jiggling the gun in her hand. "I don't know. Tall, brown hair, kinda scruffy, always wore a vest?"

"Oh my God, you mean Graham? Shit," Ruby balked, visibly shuddering at the thought. "I haven't seen that guy in, like, ages."

Emma turned, hip leaning against the windowsill. "Really?"

"Yeah." She flipped a page, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee smiling at the camera from somewhere in the Caribbean. The magazine was _really_ old. "We dated a couple times but he got kinda, I don't know, clingy and shit. Cornered me in the storage room of the diner about a year ago. Going on and on about how we were meant for each other and how he wanted to 'take me away from all this'. It was kinda sweet at first, but then he kissed me. And, I don't know, red flags started going off like fireworks in my brain. So, I turned him down. Haven't seen him since."

_I was going to ask you out that night_. Emma let the words die in the back of her throat, letting her lips form into an 'O' shape. As her mind meandered back to that day in the diner, wondering how differently things would have been had she been first to follow Ruby into that storage room. "What about your Grandmother?" Emma changed the subject, most of the world dead and she still felt a twinge of jealousy whenever Ruby talked about her exes. "What was she like?"

"A hard-nosed, iron bitch," Ruby laughed. "You would'a liked her." She set the magazine down, leaning back on the couch, eyes drifting towards the ceiling. "My Mom died when I was a baby. The sperm donor made damn sure I knew he wanted nothing to do with me. So it was just me and Gran." A smile on her lips that never reached her eyes. "She did the best she could, ya know. Kept a roof over our heads, food on the table. Not that I made it easy for her. I was a bit of a handful."

"I can only imagine."

"Yeah. A couple months before I was supposed to graduate high school, she had a heart attack.." her voice trailed, lower lip trembling as the tears pooled in her eyes. The cork on those thoughts and emotions from long ago popping off. "State was like 'you're almost an adult so fuck you'. I've been on my own ever since. Just.. doing the best I can."

A couple steps and Emma was across the room, sliding onto the couch as she pulled Ruby into her. "Shit, kid, I am so sorry." She planted a gentle kiss to the top of Ruby's head. She'd heard it in Ruby's voice, a sound Emma knew all too well, that tone of regret. "Ain't no shame in surviving," she repeated the words said to her long ago. Emma knew what it meant to still be a child, forced to act like an adult. "You're alive, that's all that matters. I have a feeling your Gran would be proud."

"Thanks," Ruby sniffled into Emma's leather jacket. Clung to Emma like it had been so long and she'd forgotten how to cry.

So, Emma let her.

"Shhhh," she cooed, arms wrapping, pulling Ruby into her. "I got you." She let Ruby break. Let her release all those years of mistakes and consequences, the grief and regrets, of wanting but never being able to reach. Emma held Ruby. Until clouds rolled in and there was nothing but the sound of rain. The gray of day turned the darkening black of night.

Eventually, Ruby stirred, turning in Emma's arms to gaze out the windows. There was still electricity in this part of Maine. One by one, the streetlights turned on, casting the room in colors of orange and yellow. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for having the audacity to be human," Emma said with a chuckle, another kiss to the crown of Ruby's head.

"Tell me something about you."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. What were you like as a kid?"

Emma shrugged. "In and out of foster homes, when I wasn't out on the streets."

"Jesus, Swan," Ruby gaped. "Tell me something nice. Tell me about Henry. A happy memory."

"Henry," Emma sighed. Of course Ruby would ask about Henry. "In the beginning, me and Regina were at each other's throats. Not that I could blame her. I can only imagine how I'd feel if my kid ran away, only to come back with a convicted felon in tow. Anyway, it was during those days when Henry invited me to see him perform in the school play. Like, I hadn't said 'yes' because I didn't want Henry to get attached, you know. Not to me. But, I showed up anyway. And Henry.. he had this smile, and he just launched himself at me. His arms were wrapped so tight I could feel him shaking 'cuz he was so happy. I'd never felt that kinda.. unconditional love before. That's when I knew. I was never abandoning him again."

"Wow. That's really cool." With the hand draped over Emma's stomach, Ruby tightened her grip. "Can't wait to meet him."

"Yeah, me too." Emma nuzzled her nose against Ruby's temple. "Now, go to sleep so I can take watch."

"Fine." Ruby huffed. "And just for the record? When a woman's repeatedly had her entire hand inside your vagina, it's best not to call her a kid."

"God, you're such an ass."

"What? You think my hand'll fit.."

"Go to sleep, Lucas. I'm not telling you twice."

**

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Emma slowed to a dead stop.

"If I had a dick," Ruby gulped. "I'd be so hard right now."

Another day wasted scavenging. Because they needed bullets and food and water, a vehicle to haul it in since the bug refused to come back from the dead (oh the irony). A tiny, backwater town a couple miles from the Canadian border, Emma and Ruby turned a corner and saw..

A used car lot. Filled like an orchard ready for the picking.

Ruby turned her head towards Emma. "Please tell me we're taking the Hummer."

A used car lot with a, practically fresh off the assembly line, Hummer. Gun metal gray with big, fat tires, and gleaming chrome. Ruby wasn't the only one with an imaginary dick throbbing in her jeans. Emma inhaled, feeling that imaginary dick deflating. "We're not taking the Hummer."

"What? WHY!?!"

"Jesus, Ruby." She tapped a finger to her temple. "Think! First off, it's a total gas guzzler. We'd spend more time trying to keep the tank filled than actually being on the road. But just.. look at it. This thing practically screams 'please lure us into a trap and steal everything we own'," Emma sighed, running a hand through her hair as her eyes scanned the lot. "What about the Subaru?"

Ruby immediately scoffed. "I am *not* spending the apocalypse driving around in a soccer mom-mobile."

"Please, be more finicky." Head still turning, Emma stopped, focusing on something at the back of the lot. "What about that? The RV?"

"Yet, you said 'no' to the Hummer."

"C'mon, it's not that bad." Which it wasn't; a fifteen-footer, only five years old judging by the dated sticker on the front windshield, probably not in too bad a condition. Meandering through the lot, she approached the side, pressing her face to a window. "It's got a mini-kitchen. Holy fuck, that looks like a bathroom. No more pissing in bushes. Shit, Ruby.." Emma pulled her face from the glass, smirk spreading her lips as she wagged her eyebrows. "It's gotta bed."

Ruby was having none of it. She stood, arms folded across her chest, hips canted at an angle as she stared at Emma with ever narrowing eyes. "How is this any less of a gas guzzler than the Hummer?"

"Oh my God!" Emma grinned. "Are we having our first fight? Because, in the RV, we can have makeup sex on an actual bed!"

"Fer fuck's sake." Ruby rolled her eyes, poutily stomping towards the RV passenger door. She bent, pulled a slim jim from her boot then jammed down against the window. "And you call ME a fucking kid."

"Wait!" With narrowing eyes, Emma tilted and turned her head. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

Ruby wagged her eyebrows. "I have many skills. Besides, I thought you didn't like hearing about my exes."

"I don't," Emma admitted. As she stepped behind Ruby, hands placed to the vehicle as she pushed her crotch against Ruby's ass. "Just.. you remember earlier and mentioning how, if you had a dick, it'd be rock hard right about now. Let's just say I have a thing for hot chicks with many skills."

The lock popped, Ruby with just enough space to withdraw the slim jim and pull on the door handle. "You mentioned something about a bed?"

**

"Tell me you still wish we'd chosen the Hummer," Emma said, watching the blue-white smoke as it drifted upwards from her lips.

Ruby had many skills. A particular skill set involving her ability to find weed in even the most sacrosanct of places. Like a bloodhound able to detect a single scent, she could find a roach-clip in a priest's bedroom. This particular bag had been found in the garage the night before. Sure, in this new post-apocalyptic world, time for those with an actual heartbeat was a luxury most couldn't afford. Emma considered sex and/or getting high with Ruby time well spent.

"Days not over." Rolling onto her side, propping her head with a hand, Ruby reached for the joint between Emma's fingers. "And I don't recall agreeing to the RV."

Emma tilted her head. "Ruby.."

"Say that again." she paused off Emma's quizzical stare. "Say my name again like that."

"Like what?"

Ruby went quiet, brows pinching as the motivations for her request began to dawn on her. "Like you're not thinking of ways to leave me."

"Ruby.." Emma sighed, saying her name like that again and so much more. She lifted onto an elbow, hand cupping Ruby's chin as she leaned in for a kiss. The kiss that should have been hers in another lifetime.

"C'mere." The joint stamped out and forgotten, Emma rolled onto her back, pulling Ruby down with her. Head to her shoulder, that familiar arm draping over her stomach. They were getting good at finding the ways in which they fit. "You got me, now. And I ain't goin' nowhere."

"Promise," Ruby sniffled, voice small and fragile.

"It's funny, all those houses I lived in as a kid? The first time I ever felt like I was home was when Henry wrapped his arms around me. It's how I feel when I'm with you," Emma inhaled at the thought, finally finding home. A lifetime ago, home was a place called Tallahassee. An idea that ended in heartbreak and a prison sentence. Through trial, error and complete chance, Emma realized how things had changed. "Like home isn't a place but a person."

Ruby lifted her head, swallowing hard as she met Emma's eyes, searching for a lie. "Really?"

Emma softly chuckled, not quite believing the words that had just fallen out of her mouth. But, they were the truth and she'd learned the hard way, some truths were meant to be spoken aloud. "Yeah."

"I was right." Ruby lowered her head back to Emma's shoulder. Because she was about to start crying. And just as she'd learned how to cry again, she hadn't quite remembered how to stop. "I think my Gran would've liked you."

**

The day had been a good day. They drove up Highway 1, at speeds that had been impossible on 95 with all the abandoned cars, the dead on or meandering the lanes. But, getting outside the city was like entering another country, a world where the dead hadn't re-joined the living. Partly cloudy skies and Autumn around the corner temperatures. iPod connected to the radio as they listened to Ruby's 90's Hip-Hop mix. Emma drove. Ruby in the passenger seat, bare feet on the dash, elbow on the windowsill, a hand surfing the air.

"All my life," Ruby turned her head to Emma, "and I've never been outside Boston." She extended her hand, wiggling her fingers. "I'm glad I'm with you."

Emma took a hand off the steering wheel, reaching, intertwining her fingers with Ruby's. Who lifted their joined hands to kiss the backs of Emma's knuckles.

Everyone had their armor. This was Ruby's - battered and worn and so very, very thin. Armor that could take the hits but worn by someone who had no idea how to fix the damage.

"The moment I saw you at the stadium," Ruby continued. "I knew if I wanted to stay alive, I should stick by your side."

"Is that why you're here?"

"No. It's not like that. I just mean.."

"I know what you mean, Ruby." This time, it was Emma that brought their clasped hands to her lips, kissing Ruby's knuckles. "And, for the record, I'm glad you're here. " Emma stiffening, eyes narrowing as she focused on the road before her, fingers loosening from Ruby's as she reached for her gun. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

They reached the border. Where the two-lane highway split off into six lanes for the blink of a border station. Except, there were cars turned on their sides and forming a barricade, razor-wire spooled across the road, guys with guns taking sniper positions on top of the roof. Guns pointed at the RV.

Emma slowed the vehicle to a stop, tucking her gun into her jeans as she exited. The slightest of grumbles as Ruby followed. Stopping just a couple feet before the RV, the two stood shoulder to shoulder.

"Arrêtez!!" A voice boomed through a bullhorn. "No infectés!!"

Ruby took a half step forward. "Nous ne sommes pas infectés!" she shouted back.

"Seriously?" Emma muttered, trying her best not to be impressed.

With a side-eye, Ruby's lips pulled into the tiniest of smirks. "I told you I have many skills."

"No Américains!" Another voice shouted.

"HEY!" Emma shouted back. She understood *that*. 

A shot rang out. Both women jumping back as the bullet impacted the ground barely a foot from their feet. Message received, loud and clear, both women scurried back to the RV, Emma slamming the vehicle into reverse before making a lurching 180 and driving forward. 

Back the way they'd come.

A mile back down the road and Emma brought them to a full stop. A blanket, weathered and worn, Emma could feel herself fraying at the edges. The air became thick, almost choking, and Emma found herself fighting to breathe. As the frustration tensed in every muscle, the tears began to well in her eyes. An itch she couldn't scratch. A pain she couldn't heal. Because, Emma Swan, the perpetual fuckup..

Had fucked up again.

Hands curling into fists, she began pounding them against the steering wheel. Jerked up her legs, mashed her heels against the dashboard, the steering column. An anguished gargling sound rose up her throat, finally erupting into a scream.

"Emma!"

The voice distant and muddied.

"EMMA!!" Ruby grabbed Emma by the lapels, shook with everything she had. Until Emma's eyes drifted into focus. "Think, goddammit!! Think and tell me. How do we find Henry?"

Henry.

That one little word and Emma finally found her breath, as the choking sob rose up her throat. "It'll be like this up and down the border," she shook her head. All she could see was the wasted time traveling up and down, trying to find a way through.

"Fine." Leather squeaking as Ruby tightened her grip. "Then, let's find a boat."

Emma blinked. "What?"

"You're right. It's not safe on the roads," Ruby explained, pleading. "So, let's do what Henry and his mother are doing, find a boat and circle around these assholes."

"That.. that's brilliant."

"I know." Ruby leaned, pressing her forehead to Emma's. "We're gonna find your son."

Another choking sob and Emma found the will to relax. Her only way to Henry cut off, but Emma still had home. A home with just as much an intent to find her son as Emma did. "Thank you."

**

Emma sat on top of the RV, legs dangling over the edge. An electric guitar she 'acquired' from one of the many pawn shop they'd scavenged in her hands. Ruby recognized the tune, one of those 80's songs always getting play on the old jukebox in the diner. After climbing up top, Ruby sat down next to Emma, opening her thermos and filling two cups with coffee.

"I didn't know you played," Ruby said, setting a cup next to Emma.

"To quote a certain someone," Emma paused, picking up her cup and giving Ruby a cheeky grin. "I have many skills."

"Ass," Ruby chuckled, nudging Emma with her shoulder. "It's nice."

"Not as nice as this coffee." Emma took another sip before setting down her cup. "Where'd you get this, anyway?"

"Puh-leez," Ruby huffed. "As you're fond of remembering, I have many skills. Besides," she placed her hand on the small of Emma's back, wanting to feel the contact of skin against skin, "you're changing the subject."

Emma shrugged, plucking at the strings. "Had a foster brother who played. He'd teach me when the meal tickets were getting drunk. Kept it up after we were separated."

Ruby quieted, like she always did whenever Emma talked of her past. Instead, she listened as Emma continued to play, a soundtrack to the scenery. A crisp, early morning sun playing off the fog misting the grass and trees. The kind of morning that made a person forget the world had ended. She turned, eyes darting up and down Emma's face, watching her concentration.

"Does Henry know you play?"

Emma didn’t stop. Ruby noticing the way her face tensed whenever she mentioned Henry.

"No." Emma changed the song, Green Days ' _When September Ends_ '. "This used to be Henry's favorite. I remember us being in the bug one day, me channel surfing and him begging me to leave it on the station when he heard it playing. When he found I had the CD? Henry made me play it over and over the entire ride home. He knew all the words, sang at the top of his voice."

"So you learned it?"

Chuckling, Emma rolled her eyes, "Not that hard." Coy grin on her lips as she glanced at Ruby. "Perfect pitch."

"You *do* have many skills," Ruby softly chuckled as she leaned, placing her head onto Emma's shoulder. "We're going to find him, Emma. You have to believe that."

As Emma continued to strum, then began to sing.

A little boy Ruby hadn’t met, yet she couldn’t help but think this was all Fate. Because..

This was Ruby’s favorite song.

**

15 MILES EAST OF THE EASTERN TIP OF NOVA SCOTIA

It was a pirate shit. Like, a _real_ pirate ship, with tall sails and creaking wooden boards and a Captain named Hook. Any other time, Henry would have been absolutely thrilled. Instead, he stood portside, forearms on the rail, chin on his hands. As he gazed blankly at the horizon. Like he had for the past hour, and the day before, and the day before that. Ignoring the wind rustling his hair, or the smell of salt on the breeze.

"Henry?" Regina stood at his side, hand resting on his shoulder.

"We shouldn't have left," Henry pouted.

Regina sighed. "We talked about this."

"Doesn't matter." He turned his head away from her, stiffening under her touch. "We shouldn't have left. We shouldn't have left without Emma."

"Henry. Henry, look at me." Regina waited until the boy turned his head. Hand still on his shoulder, she lowered, remembering the days when she would do this and their eyes were level. Had he really grown so much? "Your Mom's a Bail Bonds Person, and a Bail Bonds Person is like a detective, right? And you made sure you left clues.."

"All over the place." And Henry had. Refused to leave the mansion until he'd placed a Post-It note in every room, slightly hidden just in case the house was broken into.

"Yes, you did. I wish we could have stayed, honestly, I do. But, we couldn't. And you know that. Emma.." Regina paused. Because all they had, all _Henry_ had was hope and that was the last thing she ever wanted to take from her son. "Your Mom's smart, resourceful and stubborn as a mule. If I know her, she'll never stop looking until she finds you."

"Promise?"

"Henry," she sighed with the slight bowing of her head. Because Regina knew the power of a promise, especially to a child. "How about this? If Emma doesn't find us? I'll do everything in my power to find her."

Henry answered with arms thrown around Regina's neck, holding tightly. Regina and Emma may have had their differences but, on this one thing, they both agreed. Henry's health and safety was everything.

Despite the dirt and whatever else was on the deck, Regina sat down, pulling Henry down with her. He curled into Regina’s arm, placing his head on her lap, gazing blankly at the horizon.

Filling the silence, Henry began to sing..

“..Summer has come and passed. The innocent can never last. Wake me up, when September ends..”

[...TO BE CONTINUED]


End file.
